So this post is inspiried by Caroline Flack’s article
in this month’s ‘Cosmopolitan’… I felt I could relate so much to what she had posted, and although this post isn’t exactly parenting related I think it is something we can all relate to. I think if I could write to any of my past partners then this is what I would say:
Dear Mr First Crush,
I was merely 13 and you were a few years older, we had mutual friends so found ourselves spending time together at break and lunch though, of course, you were completely out of my league. I couldn’t help but notice how polite you were to everyone, how funny you were and how cute you were, gradually I noticed myself changing, trying to adapt and morph myself into the type of girl you would like and then the reality hit me that I was becoming someone I could never be, plus you got with one of my best friends and that was the end of that I guess.
Dear Mr First Love,
Well, I’m not sure where to begin on this, but I’ll keep it short. We were young and merely 16, at 19 we fell pregnant and had our baby boy…we had ups and downs and eventually got engaged, I made some of my best memories with you and though things ended rather sourly I will still always care, not in a romantic way as that chapter is over but ultimately you are my son’s father, so naturally I will always care about your wellbeing. Of course, it does upset me how things ended, our relationship died out and you felt that neglected by me that you sought comfort from other women while we were together and still to this day I blame myself for that.
Dear Mr Rebound,
Ah now this I feel truly awful about as you still have no idea thats all it was but the thing is I was fresh out of my previous relationship and just wanted some comfort after what happened and you were there, I do feel bad looking back at what happened but I just couldn’t bring myself to commit after what happened.
Dear Mr Too Good to Be True,
Oh this is my favourite, you seemed perfect. Tall, dark and handsome, and slightly older. You owned your own company and lived a completely different lifestyle to the one I had. I felt like Cinderella for a while as you took me to nice places for meals and nights away, but gradually the cracks started to show. You see, I always told you that I was a mum and that my boy came first yet I still saw you saying things like “can’t you palm him off to someone else”, which is wrong on so so many levels, and it was at that point I think I realised that it wasn’t going to work. One day you dropped the bombshell that you still had feelings for your ex, and I think you expected me to shrug it off but that was it for me, it was time to walk away.
Dear Mr Wrong,
Well, your name says it all. Wrong…so so wrong. You weren’t even the type of guy I normally go for, but I think I was attracted by your confidence, you were pretty good looking and would say all the things I wanted to hear, and right when you had my attention and had me right where you wanted me you would drop me at the click of your fingers, as if I was some toy you could pick up when you were bored, and eventually I realised that I am worth so much more than to be another girl for your collection.
Dear Mr Right Now,
Well, after all the above I think it’s safe to say I’m fragile, I’ll be the first to admit in light of everything that happened I’ve developed the biggest commitment issues and I feel truly sorry for you, you’ll learn over time I push people away, my temper is foul but I can be caring when I’m not a moody hormonal strop bag. I have an incredible ability to self sabotage and ruin anything good I have going for me, if after discovering all of this you’re still prepared to try with me then the next step is a bit harder, in light of my history my best friend and her husband have developed a vetting process which you will be obliged to pass. Last but most important, I am a mother first and foremost, my son comes first and if you can’t accept that then please see yourself out of my life.
Dear Mr Bottom-Squish
Oh my darling Oliver, you’ll never understand the amount I love you, how many nights I sit and watch you sleep and wonder how I got so lucky, despite all the Mr’s you will always be the most important and will always come first. I will always protect you as long as I am breathing. I can’t wait to see you grow into the amazing young man I know you will become and every day you amaze me with your character, you truly are the best thing in my life, my darling boy, and I promise you we will have so much laughter, and so many memories… At times we may argue and there will be times in your life when you dislike me, but just know that I love you eternally and that I will always support you everything you do. Granted, some days you make me want to rip my hair out, but I am sure that when you’re older you will think the same about me. Thank you for being my son and being the most perfect thing in my life.