Tag: creative writing
I know it’s hard to understand,
But there’s something that I must explain:
From the first moment that I first held your hand,
I was overwhelmed with pain.
I’m a mum without a mum,
And in a way I always was,
So meeting you on the outside
Was terrifying.
Your arrival meant her arrival,
Untimely, and unwanted
Just like me.
The loneliness consumed me…
I didn’t know how to be.
I was now a mother, determined not to let you down,
Spurred on to be the best I could with no role models around.
Two short weeks and your dad left, too,
Back to work he went.
I guess a part of me always knew
That I wouldn’t cope –
Would have no hope –
For anything getting better.
My dark days became darker.
I let you down, and couldn’t forgive myself.
I should have fought harder,
But a first-time mum is never believed,
Never listened to,
And never taken seriously.
My downward spiral became far worse,
And I didn’t know when it would end.
I felt like I had no-one,
No family. No friends.
And now I’m in that dark place once more,
But I’m trying to make a change.
I want to learn how to be my best
And to feel okay again.
I love you so much, with all my heart,
And I doubt that you’ll ever see
Just how important you are in my life,
For, without you, how could I be me?
I’ve learned to be your mummy
In spite of all the trouble
And I love you and myself now,
In fact, nothing can burst our happy bubble.
I may be facing darkness
But you give me light
And when my hope is flickering
Thinking about you…
Harriet’s thoughts on motherhood…
The following words are a cliché, but I promise they’re all true…
I never really knew who I was, or what I wanted to be until the day I held you.
At first, just your existence made me feel complete as you thrived from within my tummy.
But since you’ve been born, I love you more every day. Nothing beats being your Mummy.
I don’t think that I’d ever be able to fully describe the adoration that I have for you.
But my sweet girl, I hope I’ll be able to prove it, in all of the things I do.
Knowing that I managed to make something, so unbelievably perfect fills me with pride.
I know that being a mummy can be daunting, almost scary at times- but I’m loving my little tour guide.
Showing you off to the world makes me so proud, you’re so beautiful, so intricate, so clever and so chatty.
I don’t know what I did to deserve such an incredible princess, but I’ve never been so happy.