Mental Health Monday: Postnatal anxiety and me.

As a new mum, I thought that the anxiety of leaving your child, leaving the house with your child etc. was normal. What I didn’t realise was that not wanting to be alone with your child and having the constant fear that you would do something wrong and having your child taken away from you was not normal. This is how I felt 90% of the time and it completely ruined the bond I so badly wanted with my daughter. 90% of the time I’d be at somebody’s house, or out of the house with people around because I was scared of being alone with my daughter. Scared that something would happen and nobody would be around to help me. Or if I did something different to the mums at baby group, I would panic that I was doing it wrong and my daughter was going to taken into care because I didn’t know what I was doing.

I started to see this as abnormal when my daughter was around 4 or 5 months old. I saw other mums staying at home alone with their children and taking a different approach to parenting and wondered why they seemed okay with it but not me. I mean, this was normal right? Hmm… not so much. I went to see my GP who suggested I saw a therapist. So I agreed, reluctantly at first, to go to the first session and I was so bloody nervous. The anxiety had kicked in 100 times worse. What if I say something and they think I’m an unfit mother? What if I go there and they think Evie is unsafe with me? I could go on…Surprisingly, they were incredibly understanding and instead of judging, they listened. They listened to me ramble on about my worries, my fears and my goals. I was diagnosed with postnatal anxiety which, once explained to me, made perfect sense. I didn’t feel any less anxious after that session, but my thoughts were out there. Thoughts I hadn’t even told my partner about because I was scared of sounding crazy or stupid but I finally knew that I wasn’t either of those things.

I continued on with a therapist but this time, with CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy). Each week I would have a different thing to do e.g. messy play at home for 15 minutes, watching a TV show with Evie at home on my own etc. Slowly, I started to create that bond with her that I had been so desperate for and could cope with being alone with her. Don’t get me wrong, the anxiety still creeps about and springs up on me when I least expect it but the bond between me and Evie now is amazing. She genuinely is my best friend and I love spending mummy & daughter time with her! I wish I had known that postnatal anxiety was a thing sooner. You hear a lot about postnatal depression and postpartum psychosis during pregnancy but never the anxiety part. (Not in my pregnancy anyway). So please make sure you are familiar with the symptoms!

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/perinatal-anxiety/#.WuegOKXTWJ0

https://www.panda.org.au/info-support/after-birth/symptoms-of-postnatal-anxiety-and-depression

Top 5 hairstyles for my frizzy haired daughter!

5 frizzy hairstyles

Up until very recently, Evie always hated people touching her hair. It was a major struggle to get her to let me brush it or even wash it without a meltdown. So when she finally decided that she wanted pretty hair for nursery, I was stuck to say the least. She has the awkward in-between hair that isn’t curly or straight, thick or fine… It’s usually just a matted frizzy mess begging for a brush. But with a bit of help from Social Media mummies and a lot of Pinterest searching, I have finally found hairstyles that are not only easy to do but tame her frizzy hair and make it easier to manage on a daily basis. So I give to you, my top 5 go to hairstyles for my frizzy haired daughter.

1.This one is the easiest of them all! All you need is 2 small hair bands or elastics and a comb! Always try and start off with damp hair, it makes it so much easier to manage and helps it stay in place when styling! Separate the hair into 2 sections and tie them into bunches. DONE! If your daughter’s hair is shorter like mine, use the top section if her hair and then separate that into 2 sections. You can add clips or bows etc. to make it look prettier or just leave it as it is.

2.For this one you will need 4 small hair bands or elastics and a comb. Take the front section of hair and split it into 2 sections and tie them into bunches. Then take the middle section of hair and do the same but as you comb them into bunches, add the bunch from the top section into it.

 

3.This one is very similar to the previous one but instead of passing the top bunch down, pass it diagonal and then tie it into a bunch.

4.For this one you will need 2 small hair bands or elastics and a bit more patience. Separate the hair into 2 sections (as you can see, the sections don’t need to be even). Clip one section to the side whilst you work on the other side. Take the front section of hair and start twisting it back gathering up sections of hair as you go along, until you get to the back and then tie it off with a band and then repeat with the other side. Once you’ve reached the back with second twist, tie them both together and add a bow or flower etc.

5.For this one, grab 6 small hair bands or elastics and a comb. Split the hair into two sections and clip one side. Take the bottom section and tie it into a bunch, then take the middle section and do the same but take the bottom bunch into it before tying it off and repeat again with the top section. Then repeat on the other side. Depending on the length of your daughter’s hair, you can either leave the top as bunches or make them into buns.

And there you have it! My top 5 hairstyles for my frizzy haired daughter! Hopefully these work for you and if they do, we would love to see them! Or if you have your own go to hairstyles, feel free to share them below, I’m always in need of new ones!

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