Thank you to Vicky at Miss Tilly and Me for tagging us in the top 7 post. You can read her post here, if you like and also find links to other bloggers. The top 7 tag is all about sharing my favourite 7 blog posts from last year, 7 things that we loved from last year and 7 things that we are looking forward to in 2019. Then at the end of the post, I will tag other bloggers who will then write about their ‘top 7’. Our Top Blog Posts
Recently it’s safe to say my life has been a whirlwind, after all…I wouldn’t be me if my life was drama free, and as 2018 approaches an end I’ve looked back at everything this year has thrown at me. Friendships, Relationships, Illness, Drama the list is endless.
Lets start with the friendships. I’ve lost some, I’ve made some. I’ve wrecked some, I’ve earned some but the loyalty of my friends this year has kept me sane. The ones that have stayed awake messaging me till late at night, the ones that helped me find me when I couldn’t. The ones who still messaged me while on holiday because they knew I was at a low point, or the one who drove 80 miles to pick me up for the weekend, how about the ones who visited me in hospital. They have helped me more than ever this year, and for them. I am eternally grateful.
Relationships? Pffft, after nearly a year of being single I’ve discovered so much and learned so much about myself, and the most important thing I have discovered is I do not need a man to define me. I never have and never will need a man to complete me. It’s safe to say I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly with men this year and looking back I don’t know why I allowed myself to pay any of them the slightest bit of attention. Not to mention getting hooked on a guy for the best part of 6 months, who really wasn’t phased by my existence *insert eye roll here* Maybe 2019 will hold a relationship for me, but I can honestly say I am not phased in the slightest whether it does or doesn’t. It has taken the best part of a year but I have finally come to acknowledge that I am better off without a relationship, and when the time comes, it will be with someone I deserve.
Illness…Well 2018 has seen it’s fair share. My step-father has become terminally Ill with heart failure and kidney failure. I was diagnosed with BPD alongside having endometriosis and PCOS, with the double suicide attempt back in September, this year has been insane. poor Oliver has endured measles, tonsilitis and hand-foot and mouth ( but he does go to nursery so he was bound to catch them at some point) so 2018 has been a bit of a weird one for Illness, and my recent surgery showed me that no matter what this life throws at me I can overcome it.
Drama, Ah, the thing that makes me well…me. I am the biggest drama queen ( which I will admit with no shame at all) Drama follows me where ago, and 99% of the time I don’t look for it, it comes looking for me. 2018 kept up with tradition with drama surrounding me everywhere I looked. Fortunately I feel I’m at a stage in my life where I can laugh about it, and nothing really surprises me anymore. 2018 started with me splitting with my fiance and the father of my son, with court hearings, surgery and drama filled events continuing the year. Hopefully 2019 can be ” Drama free ” but, I don’t think that would be very me. It’s not that I enjoy the drama, it’s just there. Like a shadow- very dramatic description. Last but not least, Mummykind. When I had the idea for Mummykind I never in my wildest dreams expected it to blow up the way it did, within a year we have worked with brands, expanded with new mums joining the team and our little ones have got bigger by the day and my love and pride for Mummykind grows daily. So 2018 has been…well s**t to say the least, but it’s also allowed me to learn a lot, from not liking Sushi to discovering I have a determined personality. I’ve learned that Oliver is the most magical boy, and every day he warms my heart with his adorable personality ( also learned he has an incredible talent to make me want to rip my hair out in record breaking time and is far too sassy for my liking sometimes) but all this aside, I’m excited for 2019 – however I will not be doing a “new year, new me” I plan on being the same Sassy, drama filled Amy you all know and love after all…that’s why you all read my posts…right?
So as my little boy’s first birthday approaches (5 days to go to be precise ) I’ve found myself overwhelmed with different emotions…Where has the year gone? Am I a good mum? I’m asking myself so many questions and the truth is…I don’t know the answer to any of them. It seems like yesterday I was sat in the corner of the bathroom on the floor with a positive test in my hands shaking and freaking out (little did I know about all of the complications I was due to face with my pregnancy).
I blinked and my pregnancy was over, one minute I was being prepped for an emergency C section at 27 weeks…the next I was having a healthy 8lb 11 due date baby, and now he’s turning 1?! Where has the time gone? There is so much I’ve learned over the past year and I feel there is so much I’m yet to learn because nothing prepares you to be a parent, I read all the books, took all the advice I was given but yet I was still sat at the end of my hospital bed scared with not a single clue what I was doing, which leads me to what I’m about to say next…I’ve decided to share the best 5 things I’ve learnt over the past year.
1. There is NO such thing as “the perfect parent” – I can’t even begin to stress how important that one is. I was so determined to be this super Disney princess-like mother when I was pregnant, but the reality is that I’m sat here in my pyjamas after giving my little boy nuggets for lunch (and yes I did steal a few) and looking back, I’ve put so much pressure on myself to be like other mums. The truth is, I’m still learning…I still find myself messaging the other mummykind mums at 23:45 practically begging for advice to get Oliver to sleep (I have the youngest baby of the group so I always go to them for advice).
2. Things change physically, emotionally and mentally – this one is the biggest thing I’m still coming to terms with. My world has changed, and speaking as someone who hates change…it’s a big deal (even though Oliver is the best thing that has happened to me). I still find myself staring at my body wondering when my mummy tummy will go… I still think it’s pretty unfair that the only thing that has got smaller since having Oliver is my boobs, but there you go! Plus, nobody explains how tiring motherhood is, how you lay awake at night either worrying about your child/children or sit up trying to get them to sleep, making you emotional and mentally drained the next day…I’m admitting now, I’ve been that tired before that I’ve called a customer munchkin at work and found myself humming the peppa pig theme tune. Despite the exhaustion, with parenting comes the overwhelming sense of pride you get when you look at your child, and that moment when you just look at them and you can physically feel your heart bursting with love and pride.
3. Colic. Need I say anymore? The one word that will send shivers down any parent’s spine… I say colic, Oliver had reflux and colic so I’m not sure which one is the lesser of two evils. I remember being a new mum, scared senseless at 4 in the morning convinced something was wrong with my baby, why was he screaming? He was fed, changed, cuddled…the works. Frantically flicking through the pages of the parenting bible then a family member casually said one day “it’s probably just colic, it’s pretty normal”…I remember sat there thinking normal? NORMAL? Nothing about that is normal…but after taking him to doctors and an osteopath (who surprisingly actually helped with his colic) it was just colic and reflux, and it started to fade away once Oliver was about 4 months with the help of infant Gaviscon and ranitidine both prescribed by a GP. Just a tip for any parent with a colicy/reflux baby…Look up the tiger in the tree baby holding pose also carry lots of muslins. I remember having to apologise countless times to Sarah (one of the mummykind mums who is Oliver’s godmother) for the amount he would throw up on her, her sofa and her carpet.
4. Tongue ties. Ah this takes me back, It all started one day when I was round for a play date with Sarah and Olivia (Sarah is my go to for 99.9% of my baby problems…well all of my problems actually). I remember getting a bit flustered as Oliver kept unlatching while I was trying to breast feed and Sarah mentioned tongue tie, I saw a breast feeding advisor who confirmed it was a tongue tie, but this was at nearly 4 months and I was starting to give up on breast feeding and was put in “boobie bootcamp” as it was called, to get my supply back up in hope to get his tie snipped, but I was so exhausted from post-partum psychosis and other stresses that I found myself giving up the fight and reluctantly accepting the fact it wouldn’t get snipped…so my tip here is never give up that fight.
5. It isn’t all doom, gloom and stress. The past year with Oliver has been packed full of smiles, hugs and laughter. Every day I look at him and feel so proud…especially when I think that at 27 weeks he was given a 50% survival rate with a weight of 2lb 2oz. I look at him and know I’m going to have so many happy memories with him…of course, there are more tears and tantrums to come but for now in light of how fast this year has gone, I’m going to cherish every second I have with him and I now know what they mean when they say a mother’s love is unconditional.
I get called many things but Mum is by far my favourite.
s my daughter’s 2nd birthday approaches, I’ve found myself reflecting on the last 2 years as a mother. Things I could have done better, times when my daughter made me so proud and times when I felt like giving up.
As my daughter’s 2nd birthday approaches, I’ve found myself reflecting on the last 2 years as a mother. Things I could have done better, times when my daughter made me so proud and times when I felt like giving up.
In the 2 years Evie has been here, she has grown so much and made me the proudest I have ever been. Sure, she has her days but I wouldn’t change her for the world.
Things I wish I had done better:
• I wish I had taken more pictures with her. I have thousands of pictures of Evie but very few with me and her, and the ones I do have are unexpected selfies with her looking very bewildered.
• I wish I had done more with her. We spent a lot of time at home or at grandparents houses, so going out and doing more things with her would have been lovely!
• I wish I had more patience with her. I found myself getting frustrated if she wouldn’t feed, if she was misbehaving or just generally having a bad day. She was probably not even that bad but at times, it felt like a disaster if she wouldn’t do something.
• When Evie started crawling, I cried my eyes out. My little girl was gaining independence and growing up that little bit more. But I also cried because I was immensely proud of how much determination she had to get it done.
• Knowing that, at 2 years old, she knows around 200 words, can form some sentences and use them appropriately makes me feel so proud. She’s learning new words everyday and it’s always exciting to see what she will say next.
• Watching her with her cousins , especially her baby cousin. She will ‘look after’ her and knows when she is sad and tries to help make her happy again (usually involves screaming ‘MILK!’ at her auntie. Hopes for the next 2 years:
• That Evie grows up to be independent and follows what she believes in, not what everybody else believes in.
• To take more pictures and urge Daddy to take more as well!
• Take Evie to experience more things. Only so much can be experienced at home and being outdoors is one of Evie’s favourite things to do.
I can’t wait to see what the next 2 years will bring and I cant believe I’m about to be a mother of a 2 year old. I know that Evie will continue to make me as proud as she has done her whole life and I cant wait to see her learn and grow!