The Truth About Your Sex Life After Kids…

You may hear a lot of people tell you that you’ll never have sex after having kids, in the same way that people tell you that ‘everything changes when you get married’.

Okay, family members – gonna pre-warn you now…

DO NOT READ THIS.
Disclaimer over and done with, let’s get down to the dirty business 😉
You may hear a lot of people tell you that you’ll never have sex after having kids, in the same way that people tell you that ‘everything changes when you get married’.
In my opinion, they’re both a load of bollocks!
The truth is, yeah stuff changes, but it’s just part of getting older.
I won’t lie, our sex lives were pretty bloody amazing (and still are)… But I mean, sometimes it would be 3 times a day or more, and while that’s awesome, it’s not really sustainable when you have little people climbing into bed with you in the middle of the night! Nothing changed when we got married, but we already had Olivia by that point.
After I had her, it wasn’t long before we started trying to get down to it again – I think the first attempt was 4 weeks postpartum, but it was still too sore for me down there after being stitched up so we had to hold off and wait to try again another time. I think it ended up being 8 weeks postpartum that we actually managed it successfully, but the first time after birth will change for everyone – some people literally go months without even trying, but Jamie and I being the way we were we couldn’t wait that long.
The next hurdle is then if you have time when either or both of you aren’t exhausted. In all honesty I don’t remember the particulars of how often and when, but I still don’t remember it being that much different for us. We were relatively lucky and Olivia slept through the night from quite early on, meaning we could still make a bit of time for us. Although sleep deprivation hit me hard from the midnight breastfeeds at the very beginning, you begin getting into a routine with your child and then the much needed me-time, or us-time, will go back to normal, or almost normal for us.
This may be the difference between one kid and multiple, but since Olivia started going to her own bed in her own room, it obviously became even easier to maintain our relationship as it was before having her… And let’s be real here, the 7 months apart while he was on deployment probably helped keep our sex lives going as soon as he got back!
We’ve now been married for a year, had Olivia for 2 years and have been together 5 years. I’d like to think that it’s just as it always was.
Things don’t need to change as long as you keep making time for each other, that’s all it really comes down to!
How do you make time for each other after having kids?

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5 reasons why we should all be walking with our kids!




https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsOne of my favourite things about my day, every day, is my morning walk with my daughter to drop her off with the childminder. She’s not even 2 yet, and this morning walk is already a part of our everyday routine… Why? Well, for starters, I can’t drive, and secondly, even if I could, it brings me so much joy walking with her. Of course, there are the odd stressful moments of characteristic toddler defiance, but more often than not we are both enjoying ourselves!

So here is a little list of reasons why, in my opinion, we should all be walking with our kids as much as possible – whether that’s walking them to school or to the local park, and no matter how old they are, the benefits are just incredible!

1. Children adore the world around them

Olivia is full of awe at everything – she’s at that age where she is curious about everything that she sees, and where she is beginning to ask me questions such as “What’s that?”

Walking outdoors with her gives her so much more exposure to things that she is naturally curious about! The last two days when we’ve walked through town it’s been a constant interrogation of her asking me what things are, but she’s learning, and she’s having fun doing it!

2. Children have sooooo much energy!


Seriously, Olivia runs faster than me. But again, the whole idea of her being outside makes her WANT to burn off that excitement and energy. What better way to start her childhood than doing exercise and enjoying it? God knows that probably won’t last if you stop encouraging your kids to go outside!

3. Dirt isn’t dirty


Bit contradictory this one, but being outside in the mud on a rainy day is ridiculously good for our kids. It builds their immune systems up immensely, allowing their bodies to fight off bad bacteria on its own. And you know what? WHO CARES if they get dirty? What are baths for? 

Olivia always comes back from her childminder caked in something, and it’s a sign that she’s had fun! You can always find her in the garden playing, and as much as I will be regretting putting her in a white cardigan/top while she’s rolling around in the grass, that’s more fool me, and to her, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, so why tell her that she shouldn’t be “getting dirty”?

4. You’ll benefit too

Walking is a form of exercise, and particularly if you go on a nice, ample nature walk with the kids, you’re going to burn a lot of calories! But even putting the physical benefits aside, you’re going to benefit mentally. Getting fresh air and exercise releases endorphins, and, of course, you will love the bonding experience of walking with your children, creating memories with them that will last forever.

5. You just might get a bit more of a childhood out of your little one


Too often now parents are quick to stick the kids in front of the TV for 5 minutes of peace… Trust me, if mine would sit still long enough I’d do it too! Screen time is normal for kids now, but to me it feels like it’s one thing that stops them from being children. Playing outdoors is such a normal part of childhood, and I would hate for that to end too soon for Olivia. Making a nice walk (or run, in her case as she runs everywhere!) part of a daily routine will hopefully give children that extra push to love being outdoors in spite of the attraction of the xbox or PS4. Then, in years to come, your kids will be instilling the same childhood loves in their kids, and so on! 


Times and technology may have changed, but the way we help our children to enjoy their incredibly short childhoods doesn’t have to!

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5 Books to Read With Your Kids Before They Start School

My son is now a bit older and he has started  taking some level of interest in books, particularly those with a solid rhyme scheme and a lot of repetition. I’m no expert but I think the anticipation of me repeating a line or phrase that he knows is really exciting and he often squeals with delight when he knows what the next line is.

I’ll be the first to hold my hands up and say I haven’t read to my son as often as I should have. He’s all about playing and having fun and rarely wants to listen to stories. When I was pregnant I said I would read to him every day from the day he was born but I was hideously unprepared for how much other important stuff would need doing.

My son is now a bit older and he has started  taking some level of interest in books, particularly those with a solid rhyme scheme and a lot of repetition. I’m no expert but I think the anticipation of me repeating a line or phrase that he knows is really exciting and he often squeals with delight when he knows what the next line is.

Of course, chosing just five was no easy task because there are so many truly brilliant books for kids out there and the list does keep growing. I have included books that we keep coming back to, books that he brings to us to be read and a firm favourite from my own childhood.

1. How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight? By Jane Yolen and Mark Teague

This is part of a series of books and we love them all but this was the first one we got and we found it dishes out just the right amount of excitement to keep our little guy interested and giggling before it winds right down to a beautiful “…goodnight, goodnight little dinosaur” at the end. As he gets older I hope he also starts to take lessons from these books, which are not so subtly filled with behavioural advice for ‘little dinosaurs’.

Weston Woods Studios Incorporated, 2004

2. Someone Bigger By Jonathan Emmett and Adrian Reynolds

A slightly more recent discovery on our part but it has quickly become one of our son’s favourite books, he ‘reads’ it himself a lot and brings it to us regularly. I suspect it’s because there is a fire engine in there about halfway through but the book has a gentle rhythm that keeps him captivated and the repeated line “This kite needs someone bigger” never fails to get a laugh.
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2003
3. The Goat that Gloats by Joelle Dreidemy and Leyland Perree
We got this book when I was pregnant in a second hand book shop and we have loved it ever since. The whole book follows a very clear and bold rhyme scheme and although he’s not old enough to appreciate the moral of the story yet we hope our son is absorbing it all. It’s a very fun read filled with light humour – this one is for the parents as much as the kids.
Alligator Books Limited, 2012
4. One, Two, Flea! By Allan Ahlberg and Colin McNaughton
My first experience with this book was several years ago when my oldest nephew was given it at the end of his first school year by his teacher. He read it to us and we read it to him and we all howled with laughter. When he was seven I found him reading it to his younger brother, both were in hysterics. Fast forward again and my little boy thinks it’s brilliant. Having almost forgotten about it until it turned up in a jumble sale box, I was so exited to share what has now become a bit of a family tradition
 
Walker Books, 1998

5. We’re Going on a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury

Here it is, the old favourite. I used to make my mum and nan (or anyone who would dare to enter my house really) read this to me over and over until none of us even needed the book in order to recite it in its entirety. It’s such an adventure and it needs to have the actions and the sounds to go with it. This isn’t a book, this is a script for a performance.
Walker Books, 1993
Do you have a favourite children’s book in your family? I’d love to hear your suggestions and recommendations!