It’s that time of year, you’ll see the #NewYearNewMe posts flying around, everyone will be raving about New Year’s Resolutions and how to keep them.
Last year, my biggest resolution was in the form of my bullet journal, you can read more about that by clicking the thumbnail at the bottom of the post!!! This year, I’m carrying on with my bullet journal, and my biggest resolution is to be well on my way to affording our first house. GOD I FEEL SO GROWN UP TO SAY THAT.
That’s not to say there aren’t any mini-resolutions, in fact, there are loads of mini-goals I want to achieve and things I want to do:
Go to the gym regularly
Have a French-speaking day every week
Plus I generally want to worry less and be happier in myself! That may take some work as it’s the way I’m wired to worry about everything, but by making my small changes I hope to achieve the bigger change too.
I still, even more than last year, can’t get behind having huge and unattainable resolutions that you’ll struggle to keep and will beat yourself up about when you don’t. Part of me thinks that the new year’s resolution idea in itself is one massive bullshit cliché, but sometimes it works, it gives us a chance to reflect and focus on things we want for ourselves and our loved ones. It’s the #NewYearNewMe bullshit I have more of a problem with…
Yes, some people are easily able to say they want to lose 2st and will do it – GREAT! Do it! Well done, and a massive pat on the back. But does anyone feel that the whole resolution thing sets you up to fail? You don’t normally announce to the world when you’re going on a diet, especially not with that oh so irritating #NewYearNewMe.
The reason I can’t stand it? Well, what’s wrong with the current you?
My mother-in-law send me a facebook chain mail message earlier about how if women were cars, we’d constantly be trading ourselves in for newer models without any bumps, lumps or dents. But we are not cars. We are immaculate vessels of life and we should be celebrated as we are, not made to feel like we need new parts.
Whatever the resolution is behind the #NewYearNewMe social media post we’re all bound to see this week, it’s probably more apt to say it’s not a “New You”, not even an “Improved You” – it’s probably all to do with the outside packaging and while, if that’s what you want, that’s great, you shouldn’t strive for it because you feel you have to. Please, ladies and gents, remember that your bodies are maps of your life’s journey. Love them, look after them, but don’t think that you have to improve them or that your appearance is all that defines you. This time of year, lots of companies will be betting on the fact that you’re making those exact resolutions and add to that pressure to change yourself when maybe, deep down, you’re happy as you are…
It’s not a new you. You’ll be the same you that you always were, whatever you look like. You’re all beautiful in your own unique ways – beauty isn’t universal despite what we’ve grown up being told and shown.
Does anybody else feel the same way or have New Year’s resolutions always been great at motivating you to achieve your goals?
Things to remember when you fall out of love with someone you thought you’d love forever.
Your worth hasn’t decreased due to their inability to see how valuable you are. Whether they’ve dropped a diamond whilst flicking through pebbles or they’ve neglected the best thing that’s ever happened to them- it is their problem and not yours!
Your ability to love so relentlessly, passionately and fearlessly is a strength. Not a weakness. You have SO MUCH to give. Never let anybody tell you any different.
Try to let go of the hurt. Holding onto it is only hurting you. Easier said than done, but whilst you’re replaying scenarios- they probably can’t even remember the half of the struggles they’ve caused you!
You will love again. It seems impossible, but you will. You have no idea of who or what could be around the corner for you. You have no idea of the love and adoration you might find it you just let yourself try.
Celebrate all of the good things you’ve done together. They’re still achievements. At one time, you made the best team- if you’re coparenting the chances are that you’re still a sturdy unit. You’re allowed to be proud of all the wonderful things you’ve done together.
Even if you’re angry, even if you’re hurting. Don’t throw away a chance of friendship with the one who once meant the world to you. Try not to regret anything, even a bad ending doesn’t have to spoil great times, triumphs and memories.
Give yourself all the time you think you need to heal. Let yourself hurt, let yourself cry. You are more entitled to everything you are feeling. Don’t give yourself the “so and so had it worse” treatment- stop belittling your pain, it’s not a healthy way of dealing with things!
If there are children involved, never let either party or their families speak badly of the other. This breeds distrust between both parties, a quick nasty comment can drop out of an angry mouth in a heart beat- but the chances of it being forgotten by an impressionable child? Not likely! I’m not saying to necessarily hide the hurt you’re feeling from your children or the heart break your feeling, as these are great lessons of resilience and overcoming emotional turmoil- just keep hurtful truths and hyperbolic stories away from minds that can buy too much into them.
Remember that everything you’ve felt with with person, everything you’ve been through- is an example of better things to come. Keep reminding yourself that better things are just around the corner. that relationship and the subsequent breakup could be exactly what you needed to go out and find the better things.
Let the pain remind you that your heart can heal. The likelihood is you’ve hurt like this before and maybe you will again. You’re alive to feel so many different emotions, to experience so many different experiences- life is like a cardiograph, the ups and downs are just a good sign that we’re still alive- kicking and fighting.
I’ll reiterate- PLEASE never, ever forget your worth. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever. You are so worthy. Scream it from the rooftops until you believe it!